best and worst.

Dinner time is another favorite time of day for me.  I love the chance to eat good food, hear all of the buzz about the day, and talk about the best and worst.

A year or so ago I started asking the kids to tell what their best and worst was for the day when we were sitting at dinner.  Now, it's become a normal part of dinner.  It's been great, especially doing having this be our little family ritual through our move across the country.  It's given the kids a chance to tell us how things really are, what is happening at school, and what they like in their lives.  It's been so helpful for being able to keep tabs on how they are really feeling about things.

Some days everyone has had a really great day and no one can even think of a 'worst' for the day.  Other days some people can't think of a 'best' for the day.

Some worsts:

I really miss Utah

We didn't get to go outside for recess today because it was raining

I spent too much time on the computer

I didn't get to sit with Emma today at lunch

Some bests:

I got the winning touchdown today when we played football at recess

I was the leader today at preschool

I got everything done today that I wanted to get done

I had 20 people in class today

Working in the yard together

Our new trails we made in the yard

Playing in the fort we made in the woods

Shopping for Emmett's birthday

I sold more kits today

I talked to a great bride about her wedding in Florida

Reading books with mom on the couch

Going to Asheville with Dad

Going on a date with Mike

Going on a walk with Grace

Most everything is really simple...but they make up the fabric of our lives...and that's what I love about it!

I've decided to start keeping a little book that has our bests and worsts in it so that we can have a little record to look at years from now.

If you're not doing best and worst or not having dinner together...both are totally worth giving a try!

best. LIFE.

 *Tell a friend about this post*

comparing and other disastrous things.

Artists in general seem to always be looking for a way to perfect their craft.  There always seems to be something just beyond the horizon that is constantly just out of reach.  Photographers suffer in large part from the same terrible yet beautiful elusiveness as well.

Combine that with being a woman and it seems to have a double trouble affect.

So often it's easy to start comparing ourselves against someone else's best, someone else's life, their art, their travels, their bank account, their home, their kids, their photo shoots.  The amount of things to compare are just endless.

We start to measure our worth based on how many bookings we have this year, how good our last photo shoot was, if our kids or theirs are more well behaved or less well behaved, how many comments we get on a certain post, or what we weigh.

If we let it, all of these things can outshine all of the good we are doing.  Comparing ourselves to others and finding ways to measure our worth based on the things we do will never manage to bring us any kind of joy or happiness.

Some days I have to consciously remind myself that I am on a different journey than friends..friends who are doing the newest trends in photography, home schooling their kids, giving their time to the community, and turning out cool lighting in photo shoot after photo shoot.

For me, this year is not about all of the external things that I can do to change the way I shoot... lighting, a new camera, the new couch, the new blog.  It's about an internal search for a more intimate, meaningful  family, business life, and eventually, photo shoots and weddings.

What I am doing is loving my life just as it is...loving this crazy journey that I'm on.  No comparing.  No measuring. No silliness like that.

There are days when I wonder if I've made the right choice to wait on my business for a while.  I wonder if I'm missing too much in the industry and if it's going to pass by without me...

And then I remember that what I really want are butterfly moments. Moments when I'm around to see my children transform, grow up, change, and start to spread their wings.  Over the past few months I've read with my kids, been available for my kids when they get home from school, played Strawberry Shortcake and friends, Polly Pockets (these days will not last much longer), heard about lego competition, been the home room party mom, spent many mornings and afternoons with Miss Grace, heard burping competitions, laughed more, taken more walks in the evenings, taken more walks in the mornings, and spent more Saturdays working with my sweet little family, and so much more.  The pace of my life has slowed down.  And I'm happy with that.  I know it won't last.  Fall will come and things will change.  Grace will go to school all day...and for me, I want the butterfly moments to stay.

At that point there will be another butterfly moment...when everything changes.  I'll be getting my business to be full time again, Grace will spread her wings, my life will be very different.  There will not be my sweet girl at home with me all day...just the two of us.  I will not get to hear her in a quiet house talking to herself about what fun it is to go to Strawberry Shortcake's house or 'reading' a book that she makes up the entire plot for and as she reads having her say her favorite line from Clarice Bean, "Not naming any names.  i.e. Grace Grapello ".  Those times are reserved for the hours when it is just she and I alone at home.  There will be less hugs, less spontaneous shows of affection, less blurted out "I love yous".  Things will change.  A milestone will pass.

And I know what I really want is:

for my kids not to pass by without me.

for my kids to remember when they are grown that I laughed a lot with them

for my kids to remember that I played in the woods and threw a frisbee in the road with them

for my kids to have moments all around them that remind them that I like to be with them

for my kids to know that they bring me joy everyday

for my kids to know that I love them more than my business and my computer

for my kids to have summer vacations that include me

to be in pictures with my kids

to see the simple beauty in my life as it is

to have time for homework after school and not seem distracted by my email box

to sit on the couch at night with my husband and not worry about what needs to be done

to have a calm heart and a quiet mind

There is a lot to compare my life and my business up against.  People are doing all kinds of cool things.  The photography industry is moving at a mind-boggling speed.

We all want to know that we're doing the right thing.  Of course, when we make choices those choices don't just affect us...they affect everyone around us...we hope they affect those people for the best.

I have a lot of butterfly days these days.  And I really love them...

even if everything else just passes me by for now...

happy. LIFE.

business mom blog contest.

I would love it if you would click on the icon above and VOTE for me! You can vote EVERY DAY until March 31st!

Here's the deal:

I've had a few people and write me and tell me that I should enter this contest that was about women with blogs that help women in business. I checked it really quickly and I thought it said that you could enter until March 31st. So, I thought I had plenty of time to sign up...

Ummm...I just went and checked it tonight and what it REALLY said is that the contest is OVER on March 31st. SOOOO... the whole thing has been going for quite a while now and I have a LOT of catch up to do...so if you could vote for me EVERY DAY...that would really help. :) --reading that last sentence makes me laugh...like I'm not asking too much or anything!--

I can't win this without you.

You can also click here.

Thanks everyone...here's to a fun...or funny... competition as a hobble along in 4,192nd place.

funny. LIFE.

after everyone is gone.

I love the way the house is so silent once everyone has left for the day.  The hustle and bustle of the morning, coaxing sleepy children out of bed, spilled milk while lunches are made, laughing over silly things, anxious concerns about the day have been talked about, kids have made a run for it as the bus comes around the corner and now there are no voices.  Only calm after the storm of the beginning of day. 

When I get home from my morning walk before I sit down to write I usually walk around the house just pushing silverware and toothpaste drawers back into cupboards, picking up wet towels from showers, putting brushes back into bins, and starting laundry or putting away cereal.

I love to see the beds and blankets and pillows all jumbled up on the bed in a pretty mess.  It reminds me of nudging my warm and sleepy kids from their dreams and coaxing them into the new day as gently as I can.  I love the way my kids have that sweet smell and warmth from sleeping as they come down to eat breakfast and hug me.  I love mornings with my kids and Mike, they are a kind of routine crazy chaos that we go through every morning.

When I walk through our quiet house after everyone is gone and see unmade beds it reminds me of how much I love my mornings...even if they come earlier than they used to...

beautiful. LIFE.

saturday morning a while ago.

I love Saturday mornings when everyone in the house just slowly and lazily gets up and hangs around the house.  Sometimes Mike and I will still be in bed and we will hear one of the kids get up quietly and then ever so gently climb into bed and snuggle up next to us, other mornings we will hear a game of monopoly going that starts off with almost no noise and within a short time there's a major ruckus going on, occassionally, everyone will just get up one by one and each of us will sit around reading a book or talking or getting our own little bite of breakfast.

On this morning Mike and I were sitting on the edge of the bed chatting and Emma wandered in.  She snuggled into Mike's arms and joined in with our conversation.  She felt so good there in that sweet moment...and I wanted to remember it.

I had forgotten about it...

until I just came upon this picture this afternoon.

morning. LIFE.