I want to do it myself.

I'm sure you've heard this 100 (million) times, too...

Grace had planned out for a long time what dress she was going to wear the day of her party.  The whole time I'm thinking she's planning for her princess dress.  I'm thinking, "How hard can that be?" 

The day before her party, I found out she had a specific plan to wear her favorite skirt/jean/shirt combo when she woke up.  She would be wearing that "party dress" (her words) in the morning.  When the party was going to start she would change into her princess dress.

The picture posted above is her version of being ready for her Strawberry Shortcake princess flowers and butterflies party.  I didn't know princesses wore pioneer bonnets, but apparently this one does.  When she came down sporting this outfit I said to her, "I thought you were wearing your princess crown."  She said. "Nope."  And acted like this outfit was nothing short of fantastic and who wouldn't wear this fantabulous outfit to their 5 year old birthday party?

So.  That's what she wore.  No cajoling from me.  It was her party.  Her outfit.  Her plan.  And I wasn't getting in the way of fashion.

This morning my sweet little missies and I made a ginormous breakfast for ourselves while the boys were away on a camping trip. 

Miriam made the french toast from beginning to end, Emma made the bacon and got the strawberries ready for our yummy Strawberry and Whipped Cream French Toast, and Grace made the scrambled eggs with cheese...yes, all by herself...at the stove. (yes, I was a little nervous)

So as we're all working in the kitchen Miriam says, "These are the best looking French toasts I have ever seen."  Grace says, "These eggs are going to be soooo GOOD!"

Once we sat down to breakfast, Emma said, "This bacon is awesome."  And proceeded to eat most of it before anyone else even got to have any.  Grace said, "These eggs are sooo yummy!"  And Miriam said, "This is the best french toast I have ever had in my whole life!!"

I was talking to a friend about the idea of letting your kids do grown up things themselves.

Some of the things that my kids do on their own (including my just turned 5 year old):

Sweep the floor.

Set the table for dinner.

Help make dinner.

Pick out their own clothes to wear.

Clean the bathroom toliets.

Dust the house.

Vacuum.

Clean up after themselves.

Make brownies.

Plant a garden.

Make their own lunch.

Get their own snack.

Decorate their room.

Divide the laundry.

Go out to the woods together.

Plan their own parties.

Make invitations.

Write thank you notes.

Create art projects.

Plan summer projects and field trips.

Make their beds.

Make powerpoint presentations on the computer.

Okay...so this list is sounding like I had kids so they could do all my dirty work.  Maybe I did.  Don't judge me. :)

Really, though...I think kids derive a great deal of confidence from doing grown up things, learning how to do something that is hard, and being proud of the ability to accomplish something that some one older than them can do.  I believe in empowering my kids, giving them choices, letting them facing the consequences, allowing them to express themselves creatively, and giving them opportunities to gain the confidence that they can do hard things.

I also want my kids to understand that in a family everyone has a responsibility to make our home and family a safe, fun, clean, loving, and happy place. 

So even though I would love to tell my kids what to wear every day...(because, let's face it, they'd look a darn lot more put together and cuter if I chose their outfits).  I really do let them go to school in their favorite-shirt-that-I-had-to-sneak-into-their-room-and-put-in-the-wash-after-they-went-to-sleep-before-they-wake-up-in-the-morning-and-put-it-on-again or the skirt-and-jeans-combo (yes, I did write sKirt)  that's become Gracie's signature look. 

Even though some of their outfits are a little off the wall or don't match...I love those crazy outfits!  I love them mostly because I know it's my kids expressing themselves, showing their independence, and feeling good in what they're wearing.  I also love it because I think they look like kids should look...like they picked out their own clothes.  Some of my favorite pictures are the ones that show my kids in crazy outfits that they came up with...and yes, they are in a public place...yes, where the world can see that, yes, their mother let them out of the house looking like that...(and ohmiheck!  there is their mom!  what was she thinking?!)

I love that I can walk around my house and see one child laying on the couch completely engrossed in a book they've chosen from the shelf, 2 others kids up at the art table creating some fascinating project, and another outside with friends trying to figure out how to finish a teepee.  All of these things their own ideas.

I can't say I've never had a child come to me and say those two dreaded words...."I'm bored."  (To which I usually reply, "That's you're own fault.")

When my kids ask if they can help with something my answer is usually, "Yes."

I want them to hear that phrase a lot:  "Yes, you can."

Yes, you can choose your life.  Yes, you can make decisions.  Yes, you can see the consequences.  Yes, you can learn to do something difficult. 

Yes, you can be you.

empowered. LIFE.