I want to do it myself.

I'm sure you've heard this 100 (million) times, too...

Grace had planned out for a long time what dress she was going to wear the day of her party.  The whole time I'm thinking she's planning for her princess dress.  I'm thinking, "How hard can that be?" 

The day before her party, I found out she had a specific plan to wear her favorite skirt/jean/shirt combo when she woke up.  She would be wearing that "party dress" (her words) in the morning.  When the party was going to start she would change into her princess dress.

The picture posted above is her version of being ready for her Strawberry Shortcake princess flowers and butterflies party.  I didn't know princesses wore pioneer bonnets, but apparently this one does.  When she came down sporting this outfit I said to her, "I thought you were wearing your princess crown."  She said. "Nope."  And acted like this outfit was nothing short of fantastic and who wouldn't wear this fantabulous outfit to their 5 year old birthday party?

So.  That's what she wore.  No cajoling from me.  It was her party.  Her outfit.  Her plan.  And I wasn't getting in the way of fashion.

This morning my sweet little missies and I made a ginormous breakfast for ourselves while the boys were away on a camping trip. 

Miriam made the french toast from beginning to end, Emma made the bacon and got the strawberries ready for our yummy Strawberry and Whipped Cream French Toast, and Grace made the scrambled eggs with cheese...yes, all by herself...at the stove. (yes, I was a little nervous)

So as we're all working in the kitchen Miriam says, "These are the best looking French toasts I have ever seen."  Grace says, "These eggs are going to be soooo GOOD!"

Once we sat down to breakfast, Emma said, "This bacon is awesome."  And proceeded to eat most of it before anyone else even got to have any.  Grace said, "These eggs are sooo yummy!"  And Miriam said, "This is the best french toast I have ever had in my whole life!!"

I was talking to a friend about the idea of letting your kids do grown up things themselves.

Some of the things that my kids do on their own (including my just turned 5 year old):

Sweep the floor.

Set the table for dinner.

Help make dinner.

Pick out their own clothes to wear.

Clean the bathroom toliets.

Dust the house.

Vacuum.

Clean up after themselves.

Make brownies.

Plant a garden.

Make their own lunch.

Get their own snack.

Decorate their room.

Divide the laundry.

Go out to the woods together.

Plan their own parties.

Make invitations.

Write thank you notes.

Create art projects.

Plan summer projects and field trips.

Make their beds.

Make powerpoint presentations on the computer.

Okay...so this list is sounding like I had kids so they could do all my dirty work.  Maybe I did.  Don't judge me. :)

Really, though...I think kids derive a great deal of confidence from doing grown up things, learning how to do something that is hard, and being proud of the ability to accomplish something that some one older than them can do.  I believe in empowering my kids, giving them choices, letting them facing the consequences, allowing them to express themselves creatively, and giving them opportunities to gain the confidence that they can do hard things.

I also want my kids to understand that in a family everyone has a responsibility to make our home and family a safe, fun, clean, loving, and happy place. 

So even though I would love to tell my kids what to wear every day...(because, let's face it, they'd look a darn lot more put together and cuter if I chose their outfits).  I really do let them go to school in their favorite-shirt-that-I-had-to-sneak-into-their-room-and-put-in-the-wash-after-they-went-to-sleep-before-they-wake-up-in-the-morning-and-put-it-on-again or the skirt-and-jeans-combo (yes, I did write sKirt)  that's become Gracie's signature look. 

Even though some of their outfits are a little off the wall or don't match...I love those crazy outfits!  I love them mostly because I know it's my kids expressing themselves, showing their independence, and feeling good in what they're wearing.  I also love it because I think they look like kids should look...like they picked out their own clothes.  Some of my favorite pictures are the ones that show my kids in crazy outfits that they came up with...and yes, they are in a public place...yes, where the world can see that, yes, their mother let them out of the house looking like that...(and ohmiheck!  there is their mom!  what was she thinking?!)

I love that I can walk around my house and see one child laying on the couch completely engrossed in a book they've chosen from the shelf, 2 others kids up at the art table creating some fascinating project, and another outside with friends trying to figure out how to finish a teepee.  All of these things their own ideas.

I can't say I've never had a child come to me and say those two dreaded words...."I'm bored."  (To which I usually reply, "That's you're own fault.")

When my kids ask if they can help with something my answer is usually, "Yes."

I want them to hear that phrase a lot:  "Yes, you can."

Yes, you can choose your life.  Yes, you can make decisions.  Yes, you can see the consequences.  Yes, you can learn to do something difficult. 

Yes, you can be you.

empowered. LIFE.

Making Super Cool Flowers from davina fear on Vimeo.

So...we had some requests for a tutorial on Gracie's Birthday decor.  Here it is.  Have fun!

NOTE:  you can also get cool Martha Stewart kits at Walmart in the Martha Stewart area to get you started and if you want some more instruction. :)

creative. LIFE.

***All images in this post are copyright Jodie Allen***

NEXT WEEK:  TBA

{To nominate women you'd like to see in this series please list them in the comments-or if you have a question you'd like to see in the interviews--make sure to include your info in the comment fields so that I can get in touch with you- or write to me at: davina at davinafear dot com }

As always make sure to leave comments for the women who are featured. They like comments as much as I do I'm sure...let them know if you have questions or just to say thanks! for their insight and wisdom...

Make sure to check out the rest of the series by clicking here. Tell a friend!

How long have you been in business?

In August ’09 it will be two years!

Your blog just placed 3rd in a huge contest with PPA. What have you done to help your blog get so popular?

I think that people relate to me. At the end of the day I am just a mom. A mom with three kids ages three and under who tries desperately to balance work and kids and life while showering every once in a while and drinking way too much caffeine. So although I show my recent sessions and talk a lot about work, I also talk endlessly about my struggles and joys of being a mommy. I am always real and brutally honest. That is why I think people come back to my blog. The other thing, I think, is that I blog almost every single day so there is always something new to see or read. People want new content; at least I know I do, so I work hard to keep up with my blog daily.

What blogging tips do you have for women who are bloggers?

I can’t stress this enough… be honest. Blogs that I read that are only about photography or that make the writer look perfect turn me off eventually. Even incredibly talented photographers can have a boring blog. I really think the key is to find something that connects you with your audience, and for me, that is other moms, photographers or not. And the benefit is that while you are blogging you are creating a circle of support… other women who will leave encouraging comments or emails when you’ve opened up about your frustrations, struggles or fears. The more honest I am the more my blog blesses me with good friends and support.

In what ways do you market and what do you think is the most effective?

Word of mouth has been the most effective form of marketing, but I really think it’s the blog that keeps people coming back. What is so amazing about putting yourself out there on your blog is that your clients or future clients feel like they know you before they’ve even met you. Almost all of my clients feel like they are friends with me before meeting me so they feel comfortable immediately… it makes my sessions fun and easy! It also has helped create lasting friendships with most of my clients. Can I say it again? BLOG! HA!

Also, Facebook has been a huge tool as clients post their photos and then link to my website. I’ve booked a lot from FB referrals!

What do you do when your kids beg you to get off of the computer?

I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not, but b/c my kids were so young when I started they really don’t know life without me on the computer all the time. That being said, I work mainly at night once they’re asleep. During the day, if it’s just the kids and I (my mom watches the kids a lot during the week to help me), I will check emails or get a blog post written but other than that I am focusing on them and the housework. I try really hard to keep it balanced.

What do you think are the top three things you must do as a mom and wife every day?

1. Spend time individually with each kid; even if it’s just a minute, I want them each to know they are special.

2. Teach my kids. I try really hard to do some kind of Montessori activity each day, as I believe strongly that we, as parents, are their first teachers. We also do an art project every day so that they learn to love the mess of creating!

3. Make sure we all have clean underwear.

What three products or things help you stay organized?

1. My notebook, as in, my spiral notebook where I keep every TODO list known to man.

2. Google Calendar. I love getting my day emailed to me every morning.

3. Client folders. When I book a new client I start a client folder and on the front of each folder is a checklist I created so I can see where each client is from start to finish. I keep emails printed in there, release forms, copies of their checks, their print order, notes about the family that I want to remember (like NO sugar allowed so I know not to bring suckers as bribes next time!), etc.

What does your workflow look like? How do you keep all of your clients straight and deliver products on time?

Do you really think I keep things straight? HA! I wish I could say that I am totally on top of being organized. My workflow is basically… shoot on the weekends (mainly), edit late at night (I work from about 8pm-1am), answer emails during the day, and then everything else like ordering prints and mailing packages and creating albums and design work happens whenever I can fit it in… during naps or late at night or while I put a movie on during the day b/c I’m so behind I just have to work while the kids entertain themselves!

What do you do yourself (as far as album design, editing, bookkeeping, answering phones, marketing, etc.) and what do you outsource?

I do everything and wish I could afford to outsource SOMETHING!

What plans do you have for your business this year? How will your plans impact your family?

We have three children, 11 months, 2 years and 3 years. My husband is a teacher and coach, an incredible teacher, but his pay scale only goes so far. I hate to admit this, but my goal is to make more money. If we are ever going to afford to buy a home or go on vacation or put more away for savings it is because my business is doing well. My goal is to stop discounting so many things and believe in my work. To not feel bad charging people what I am worth. I need to make enough money to help my family and that is exactly why I work so hard. My lack of sleep (I average 3-4 hours a night) and crazy work load is hard on me at times, but if I can suck it up and get through a few more years then we will be more financially comfortable and that makes me so proud.

How much time do you spend on photography boards and forums?

None, but I do spend a lot of time reading photography blogs!

How much time do you spend on the computer?

I spend an insane amount of time on the computer. Insane.

What 5 tips do you have for women to help them maintain a balance in their lives between everything they have to do?

Not that I have perfect balance, by any means, but I will tell you the one thing that really helps me stay centered… volunteering for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. It is an organization made up of professional photographers who local hospitals call to go take family photos when a baby passes away or is going to pass away. I have been there as parents held their baby as she took her last breath. I have seen grief I can’t imagine experiencing in my own life. I have captured moments I wish never took place. But leaving each session, as I am praying for that family, I am always overcome with a sense of gratitude. God has given me this life, with my three young kids, my loving husband and my growing business and although it seems like too much most of the time, it is all so incredible. I am extremely blessed and working for NILMDTS helps remind me of that fact. It makes all of my issues seem small in comparison and really helps me get through more days of pure chaos.

Are there times that you feel overwhelmed? What do you do?

Overwhelmed? Are you kidding me? I am ALWAYS overwhelmed! Did I mention I have three kids ages three and under? HA! Truly, if I weren’t a bit overwhelmed all the time I would wonder what was wrong!

The hardest part for me is finding a balance. I wish I could give all of my daytime to my kids but we count on the money I bring in so when I have to work I have to work. Luckily I can survive on very little sleep and I work very fast so I can get a lot accomplished in a day. I just never really slow down!

When my life gets really crazy with the kids and my work and the house I can always count on my mom to take the kids for a day to let me catch up. We live 2 blocks from my parents and they are the biggest blessing in our lives.

To see more of Jodie's Work:

Website

Blog

getting ready.

Since Gracie's birthday was about flowers and butterflies and Strawberry Shortcake and princesses we incorporated flowers into the decorating and sat around making tissue paper flowers for the entire week before her party.  I attempted a Strawberry Shortcake cake decoration job.  And it's definitely not superb or even very good or mediocre...but Gracie thought it was the best ever.  And that's enough for me.

We had so much fun getting ready for this party.  The girls and I sat around the table talking and making flowers and then we baked Gracie's cake and laughed until everyone was just too tired to do any more...and then I stayed up until 4am finishing everything up...yes, I'm insane.

I can't help it.  I love a good party.

fun. LIFE.

*tell a friend*

*tell a friend*