fishing.

When I fist talked to Ethan's mom she told me that Ethan wanted pictures of only one thing...him fishing. We spend most of the session fishing, trying to catch something, putting worms on hooks, losing hooks, trying different docks...and the fish just weren't biting. nothing.  We got great pictures...just not fish.

After being very persistent (at least I thought it was persistent...how long do you have to fish in order to catch a fish?) we hung up the fishin' pole and did Ethan's second favorite thing....baseball.  Both Ethan and his brother are on the high school baseball teams.  (Ethan is in 8th grade...I'm thinkin' he must have some mad baseball skills.)

I loved meeting Ethan's sweet family and getting to photograph Ethan doing what he loves most.

lucky. LIFE.

 

*All images in this post are copyright Karen Lippowiths.***

 

NEXT WEEK: Maile Knight Wilson

 

{To nominate women you'd like to see in this series please list them in the comments-or if you have a question you'd like to see in the interviews--make sure to include your info in the comment fields so that I can get in touch with you- or write to me at: davina at davinafear dot com }

As always make sure to leave comments for the women who are featured. They like comments as much as i do I'm sure...let them know if you have questions or just to say thanks! for their insight and wisdom...



You can check out the rest of the series by clicking here. Tell a friend!
 

Karen,    You have some amazing skills as a business woman.  I remember meeting you at SMS in Atlanta and being blown away at your marketing skills and how quickly your business boomed.  Your work is clean and crisp and beautiful and now you've created a business resource kit so that we can access your genius.   You are energetic, enthusiastic, and a great encouragement to your friends.  I'm so glad that you're on Women and Business today.  Thank you!

 

How long have you been in business?

 

I began working in photography in 2003 while I managed a small creative firm.  At that time, I worked with a commercial photographer and oversaw his efforts, but didn’t think I could do the work myself.  It wasn’t until a bit later that I had the courage to give it a try.  I officially began my  own portraiture business in 2005. 

 

 

What drew you to photography?

 

Like most photographers, I’ve always had a passion for the visual arts.  My true interest in photography comes more out of a love for design and commercial photography than portraiture.  I’m very interested in lines, composition, and aesthetics in my work, probably more so than emotion.  

 

 

How did you get started?

 

Truly by accident.  I majored in molecular biology and history at the University of Michigan and the Sorbonne in Paris, so I had no background in the arts.  At that time in my life, I thought I had to concentrate on “serious” subjects that led to solid careers.  I didn’t want to waste my time on something that everyone said, “You’ll never make money at.”  

 

My sister passed away in 2003 at age 23.  Her passing gave me reason to ask myself, “What is it that I really want to do with my life?”  Crises are opportunities if you see them that way.  A few months later, I ended a long-term relationship, left New York City where I had lived for the past several years, and moved back home to metro Detroit.  

 

At first, I started working in design.  I owned a small firm that grew steadily over the next couple of years.  I had a photographer on board as part of our team and really loved watching him work.  

 

He was a great photographer but an awful businessperson.  He literally dumped thousands of dollars of equipment in my lap and took off one day.  I owned all this stuff and didn’t have the first clue of what to do with it.  I didn’t want to hire another photographer and have to start all over again.  So, I started by setting up the studio lighting equipment in my living room and I shot every conceivable still object in the house.  I learned things like “always keep the ISO at 100 when shooting strobes” by blowing them out.  It was a true trial and error way to learn.  Then, I got up the nerve to work with people.  I found I had a natural talent and I practiced like crazy.  In a short time after that, a portrait business took off.

 

 

Are you in a retail space or home studio?  What made you choose the space you have?

 

I currently work on location with a home office.  I had a 1,500 sq. ft. loft and two employees at one time.  While I enjoyed the creative flexibility of a studio and the collaboration of employees, the truth is that the business grew to become something that wasn’t “me.”  The more removed I became from the day-to-day business operations, the more I disliked what the business had become.  I’ve been much happier since scaling things back.

What does your workflow look like?  Do you outsource or keep everything in house?

My workflow is simple.  On a typical session, I shoot around 225 frames and narrow down to 35 for the client to see.  I soft proof the 35 images by adjusting sharpness, saturation, exposure, and brightness in Aperture.  I then present the images to the client in ProSelect.  Once the client makes her selection (usually narrowing down to 6-10 images unless she’s doing an album), I go back and hard proof those images for production.  I keep everything in house.  The key to effective workflow is to avoid over-shooting and over-showing.  Also, it’s important to offer products in a way that influences clients to select a few key pieces rather than “pictures by the pound.” 

 

What do you do to help your clients be so comfortable with you during a photo shoot?

There’s only one sale in portrait photography: the one during the initial consultation when you identify a client’s needs and communicate your ability to provide a solution.  Everything beyond that is a matter of fulfilling your commitment to meet those needs.  If I don’t connect with a client during the initial consultation or if I know for some reason I’m not the best person to meet her needs, I pass on the job.  If you commit to working with people whom you truly like and if you take time to listen to them, the rest is easy.

 

Working with children is a bit the same way.  There are a lot of “tactics” I use to focus a child’s attention and keep their attention on me such as noisemakers, food, and games, but ultimately it’s about creating a dialog between the two of us.

 

 

You are a fantastic businesswoman.  You have the ability to make things happen.  What do you think are the secrets to your success in business?

 

The real secret is that there is no secret.  It all comes down to perseverance, perseverance, perseverance and pushing myself out of my comfort zone about 80% of the time.  Talent and success are not democratic – they’re not doled out in equal shares.  Those who succeed are the ones who just keep showing up and doing the work.  Early on, I thought t it would get easier as time went on and my business grew.  I also believed that someone would come along and anoint me as “good enough” someday.  Then, I realized that neither of these things was going to happen and it was entirely up to me to create the business I wanted to own.  I dream big and I try to help others along the way.  The more people I help, the more people help me succeed.  

 

 

What do you recommend women do who are just getting started in the industry?

New photographers need to educate themselves on the business of photography.  I’ve worked with scores of photographers over the last few years as part of my mentoring program and most of them come to me with no entrepreneurial experience or business plan whatsoever.  It’s one thing to enjoy photography as a hobby – which is great – but it’s another to make a living of it day after day.  You’ve got to have a plan!  Far too many people leap before they look.  

 

You are currently putting together a resource guide for photographers.  What are some of the best things we can look for in your guide?

I’m SUPER EXCITED to share the Focused Photographer Business Builder Kit very soon.  This is more than just a pamphlet or a “how-to” guide, it’s a comprehensive kit that will help anyone start and run a profitable home-based children’s portrait photography business.  It includes everything from creating a business plan, to managing Profit / Loss and Cash Flow statements, to pricing for profitability.  Users will walk away with a marketing plan and a firm grasp on the client cycle, start-to-finish.  It also covers my detailed shooting, posing, workflow, and Photoshop techniques.  There are 17 step-by-step exercises and a number of additional resources as well.  The Kit may be completed alone or can be used along with my Get Focused! One one-on-one mentoring program.

 

 

When and where will we be able to purchase your resource guide?

I spent the last eight months developing the more than 300-page kit and its resources and it’s with my production designer right now.  I hope to have it available for purchase by October 1 on my web site, www.karenlippowithsphotography.com.  Visitors can view the outline and read a sample chapter now.  They can also pre-order the kit at a reduced rate.

What do you do for fun...that has nothing to do with photography?

 

I love planning dinner parties and spending time with friends.  Just this weekend we had a “dinner and movie under the stars” dinner party.  I made a nice ribeye dinner and my husband rigged the Bose system and our projector screen out on the deck.  We live in suburbia but our backyard overlooks a beautiful pond, tall grass, and a tree-lined field.  It feels completely remote.  The sun glows on the field each evening and it’s our little slice of heaven back there.  This past weekend, we had two other couples over (and no kids!) for a beautiful sunset dinner, candlelight dessert, and movie under the stars.  It was amazing.

 

I love riding with my three-year-old son, Connor, down the farmer’s market on Sunday morning and making a beautiful “farm-to-table” meal that night.  I tell my clients to “live artfully” and I try to find ways to do that myself.

 

I’m a documentary and NPR junkie.  I love to read non-fiction and usually tend toward the heavy political, financial, historical, or social issue stuff.  I love “food for thought.”

What are you most proud of as a business woman?

I started my business at a time when I didn’t quite think I could or should.  I had just left a bad relationship, my sister had recently passed away, and I was $35,000 in debt.  My confidence wasn’t at its height.  I’m proud to say I dug myself out of debt in three years and I’m way on the plus side now.  We live off of my husband’s income and we bank every dollar I make. I’m extremely proud to have a thriving business all my own and to know that my work makes a difference to help us work toward the future we want.

What do you do to keep your marriage fun? 

Brad and I enjoy eating and traveling well.  We spend lots of time discussing new restaurants and planning future trips.  A few times a year, we take off for a nice weekend by ourselves.  Once a year we head to the Chesapeake to sail and we enjoy a pampered spa weekend at the Inn at Perry Cabin.  These “dream” weekends fuel us the rest of the year and memories we make keep our spirits strong.

 

 

What are the top three things you did when you were first getting started in business to bring in clients?

Working with other businesses is key.  Once you position yourself with high-end businesses that cater to your target demographic, reaching clients becomes much easier.  Tactically, the best three things I did for my business early on were:

 

1. hosting events and promotions through my partner businesses
2. hanging large installations in key locations throughout town
3. building my e-mail list and keeping in touch with clients about every other week

How do you keep your marriage safe from the stresses of your business?

Stress free?  Doesn’t exist.  Happy and balanced?  Totally possible with a little work.  Brad and I both work from home and our three-year-old is home with us as well.  It’s a real juggling act every day, but we’re committed to each other’s success.  We share responsibility equally and to always put the other person first. 

 

At 5:00, neither one of us answers the phone or checks e-mail.  We don’t do any work on Sundays and I keep my weekend shoots to no more than two a month.  Creating boundaries and shutting out the rest of the world has allowed us to create a sacred space just for us.

 

What is the best thing you've done to make your business successful?

Price my work profitably.  Hands down.

 

 

You are a mom, how many kids do you have?  What do you do to help him feel part of your business life?  

Connor is a busy three-year-old little boy and he will be an only child.  I make time for him every day by taking time to play Batman in the morning and by making sure I’m there at the end of every day.  My office door is never closed to him and I always try to welcome him up into my chair with open arms.  

 

It was so much easier when he was an infant.  I could lay him in the Boppy and work all day.  Now, he’s learning so much more and need more of my focused time.  I don’t begrudge him this.  Brad goes out of town every Tuesday so I make that our fun “Mommy & Connor” day.  We go to the pool, to the zoo, or on an “adventure” of some sort.  

 

Recently, I’ve started bringing Connor on client deliveries with me.  Clients love to meet him and I think it makes me appear more human in their eyes.  Plus, there’s nothing cuter than a little boy handing over a pretty bag saying “Thank you, ma’am.”  Connor thinks it’s pretty cool that he gets to meet a lot of new friends in my clients’ kids.

What do you do to keep your family strong?

Like everything, it takes commitment and work.  I know too many people who prioritize work over family and who chase the illusive dollar for a hyper-consumerism life.  We’re not willing to do that.  We live below our means and we pay cash for everything.  We do without what many of our friends buy on credit then spend years working to pay off.  Living this way allows us the choice to work or not, to take one more job or spend time enjoying the holidays instead.  It also allows us to plan and save for the future.  Having this freedom has made a huge difference in our outlook on life and the way we value our time together.  It’s about creating balance.

Many photographers are feeling the effects of the economy.  What is your take on business and the economy?

 

Warren Buffet once said, “When the tide goes out, you know was skinny dipping.”  By this, he means when times are tough, the unprepared wash ashore.  I certainly don’t wish for anyone to fail, but a recession does “shake the tree” and strengthens the quality of the photography industry as a whole.  I’m glad that I have little overhead, few financial commitments, and I price for profitability.  Even with fewer clients coming through the door this year, the business has seen steady growth.

 

 

What steps have you taken to help your studio thrive in the last year or so?

 

I actually cut the volume in the last year and raised my rates considerably.  I swallowed hard and feared the worse, but it was the best thing I could have ever done, even in this economy.  While it’s true that I’m getting fewer calls, my gross revenue and more important, my net income, has greatly improved.  I focus on taking quality jobs, not sheet quantity.  My calendar is actually completely full through November, which is a great feeling to know what’s coming down the pike.  I currently average $2,300 per session.  Plus, I’ve really cut out the time-draining “volume” jobs that stressed me out last year.  I’m working less and making more.  There’s no better feeling than that!

 

 

How do you stay inspired in your sessions? 

I’ve started doing commercial work and I hope to pursue much more of this down the line.  Commercial, fashion, and editorial photography require a different focus and working style, which I find to be a refreshing change.  Truth be told, I love portraiture but I need something more to keep me going creatively.  I recently did a test session for which I planned the concept, styled the set and wardrobe, scouted location and models, managed a small team, and photographed.  This was so different from simply meeting a two-year-old at her house and shooting candids around the yard.  I’ve given myself a year to build my book and I met with a commercial agent recently.  The prospect of rounding out my portfolio of work keeps me interested and excited every day.  

What do you do to keep from feeling overwhelmed?

I’m not sure there’s a way to prevent this entirely, however I’ve learned to minimize feeling overwhelmed by saying “no” a lot more, taking on less of the jobs that don’t benefit me financially or spiritually, and by pacing myself each day.  I’ve learned to take it all in stride.  When I’m about to panic or I feel like a situation is too much to handle, I remind myself that the sky has never fallen and that no matter how pressured I feel, I will come out of the situation feeling whole.

What three products or things help you stay organized?

Aperture, ProSelect, and Excel are my lifelines.  Any workflow program is a MUST for a professional photographer.  ProSelect has made sales easy as pie.  I keep all of my financial and administrative files in Excel (I guess I’m old school that way).

 

 

What is something that you think women in the industry should not do?

As Suze Orman says, “Never put yourself on sale.”  Far too many women get in the business and simply give it all away.  They fail to realize is that it’s not the value of a photograph that they’re giving up but the time they put into creating that photograph and the subsequent sales opportunity that goes to waste.  When you say “Yes” to a client, you’re saying “No” to something else.  That “No” may be working with a more profitable client, it may be marketing for the kind of work you truly want, or it may be spending time with your family.  Pursuing photography as a “paid hobby” or “part-time” are not excuses to waste time or talent either.  Get what you’re worth.

What is something that you think women in the industry should do?

Support one another.  There’s a zero-sum game mentality that somehow says, “You’ve got to lose in order for me to win.”  I assure everyone that there is enough work to go around.  If you position yourself, create and communicate a compelling experience for clients, and work to create a good match, you’ll be fine.  I can only serve around 100 clients a year within a roughly 50-mile radius who are looking for my creative style and are prepared to spend what I charge.  Anyone outside of these parameters is not a good it for me.  The more photographers I’ve befriended, the more work I’ve gotten and given away.  I wouldn’t be where I am without the support and friends in the business I have.

What five suggestions do you have for women who are trying to have a more whole, content, and blissful life?

 

1. Remember that work is work, money is money, and everything is what really counts
2. Know that we deserve love, success, and respect no matter how much we weigh, how much we have in the bank, and how much time we have on the job.  We’re all born beautiful, we all have the ability to become wealthy, and none of us knew what we were doing until someone taught us along the way.  Stop comparing yourself!
3. Attitude really does determine altitude.  Become the most enthusiastic person you’ve ever met and you’ll be surprised by how much wealth and positive energy you attract into your life.
4. If you’re going to dream at all, you might as well dream big.  A healthy dose of childlike daydreaming every day is a good thing.
5. Imagine the last photo you’ll ever take.  Who will it be of?  What emotion will it capture?  Now imagine the last photo that will be taken of you?  How old will you be?  What will you look like?  What kind of life will you have lived?  Live each day as if it were the last picture show.

 

To see more of Karen's work:

Website

Blog

Resource Kit (coming soon) 

*All images in this post are copyright Karen Lippowiths.***

Brandon.

I photographed Brandon back in January.  I'm grateful for the brief but lasting opportunity I had to be with him and his sweet family.

Brandon passed away Sunday morning after fighting cancer for over 4 years.

There are so many words that describe this brave boy and his selfless family.

Courage

Kindness

Perservance

Goodness

Faith

Strength

Great trust in the Lord

LOVE.

They've all been through more in the last 10 years than most families go through in a lifetime.  They've all done it with grace and graciousness and they keep giving love and kindness. 

Brandon has been a gift to more people than can be counted.

Thank you, Brandon, Christy, Don, Ellie, and Dylan.

 

**Memorials may be made in memory of Brandon to Greene Funeral Home Northwest Chapel, PO Box 37537, Rock Hill, SC 29732.

sweet. LOVE.

 

**All images in this post are copyright Laura  Novak.***

 

NEXT WEEK: Karen Lippowiths

 

{To nominate women you'd like to see in this series please list them in the comments-or if you have a question you'd like to see in the interviews--make sure to include your info in the comment fields so that I can get in touch with you- or write to me at: davina at davinafear dot com }

As always make sure to leave comments for the women who are featured. They like comments as much as i do I'm sure...let them know if you have questions or just to say thanks! for their insight and wisdom...



You can check out the rest of the series by clicking here. Tell a friend!
 

Laura,    You have an absolute gift for organization, business, and marketing.  I attended a presentation you gave at a DWF convention years ago and was blown away by your knowlege and expertise.  You have created a very successful business in Philadelphia and in the meantime gotten married and moved into a gorgeous studio.  I'm so thrilled that you are here on Women and Business!  Thank you!

 

 

What do you do to help your clients be so comfortable with you during a photo shoot?
It’s really important to me to be present during the photo sessions, to bring my heart and soul to the session and connect with my subject.  Children know when you are just humoring them, or if you really care.  They are very intuitive.

 

 

How do you make time for your personal life and business life?
I love having my studio outside the home; when I go to work, I’m at work and when I’m home – I’m home.  Evenings and weekends are often spent with my husband or friends.  It’s a very different lifestyle from when I first started out... my schedule and separation of business and personal has been a work in progress for a long time!  There were a few defining moments that made me realize that I had to protect my personal time.  In the last few years I have been saying no more than ever, whereas when I first started I almost never said no to anything.  Now I’m really careful of preserving of my personal time and unless something is really important to our goals, I won’t travel or take on a big project - especially if it requires evenings or weekends. The more focused I have gotten with the business, the more I know what to say yes and what to say no to.

 

 

What is your schedule like each week in your studio?
I usually go to yoga first thing in the morning, and then come home, hang out with my dogs and husband and answer emails while watching the news.  I’ll go into the Wilmington studio around 9ish and typically have a photo session, I will select images from the previous session and transfer the editing over to our production manager.  I may do some admin work, take a look at our finances (I have daily metrics I look at every day), or work on our marketing.  Then I will most likely have lunch with a friend or colleague and head over to our PA location in the afternoon (about a half hour away).  I’ll typically answer questions and mentor the photographers over there for a while, do some errands, have any meetings or finish the day with a photo session.  I love it every day.

 

 

What do you recommend women do who are just getting started in the industry?
Start out with a business plan – know how much money you need to get going, the kind of customers you want to bring in the door and take the time to understand what is going to be required.  Most people I have talked to in my workshops (women especially) fall into the photography by accident and don’t really have a plan for what they are going to charge, how they are going to get customers, how much money it is going to take to start and when they can start taking a salary.  Then they are not taken very seriously by their spouses or family and become upset or frustrated which creates conflict.  It’s always best to establish expectations in advance – for yourself and everyone else in your life!

 

 

You are a fantastic business woman.  What made you start Strategy Avenue?
After I would speak or teach at a workshop or convention, photographers would come up and ask questions like ‘how do you get customers?’ or ‘how do you price.’  My response was “what does your business plan say?” and they would look at me like I am crazy!  But you have to have a plan when you are starting a business.  How I market, or price, is irrelevant to how another photographer should market, or price.   It all depends on your strategy, your mission and your vision.   One size fits all doesn’t work!

After learning more about what photographers really need to create a business plan, I developed a product that visually communicates how to create a business plan with a corresponding DVD curriculum.  It was difficult and expensive to produce but I have gotten great feedback from our customers ranging from their ability to get a bank loan to finally understanding their goal as a photographer.   It takes you through all the major steps of business planning, it’s hard work and essential to the success of any company big or small. I use the same product on my own company and re-visit my business plan every January.

 

 

What do you do for fun...that has nothing to do with photography?
I love to hang out with my dogs and my husband, John.  I am a total foodie and love going out to dinner with friends and with John.  We live in a great walking neighborhood and spend a lot of time out chatting with people and going for walks.  We also volunteer our time to many different charity organizations that are important to us where we meet new people.  

 

 

What are you most proud of as a business woman?
I have a firm set of values that I never compromise on.  Even if I could make more money or come out ahead by compromising my values, I never would.  Integrity is what is most important to me.

 

 

How do you keep your marriage safe from the stresses of your business?
I really try to have specific times that I work, and times that I do not.  I plan evening and weekend activities, when possible, around things my husband already has going on so we can be home at the same time.  Since being married, I have focused more on children’s portraiture and less on wedding photography so I can be home with him on the weekends.  I only tend to go to one national convention a year so if I’m asked to speak at one, I won’t attend another. My marriage is top priority in my life.  I don’t expect my husband’s life to revolve around photography, he’s interested in my business and helps out from time to time but we have other interests together as well.
 

 

You recently did a wonderful project with an ICU.  How did that come about?

Almost two years ago, I was on a shuttle bus coming back to Delaware from the Philadelphia airport and the only other two people on the bus were Nurses from the Hospital.  We started talking and came up with the idea.  I sent an email as a follow up and they forwarded it to a junior-level events coordinator at the Hospital.  We then just kept meeting with people and following up.  It was a good year of meeting with people and following up before we were able to begin photographing.  Once the head NICU nurse got wind of the idea, she really drove it forward because she wanted it so badly for her patients.

What is the best thing you've done to make your business successful?
I do yoga most days from 6 am. - 7 am.  It reminds me of the kind of person I want to be and keeps me centered and balanced for the day’s craziness.  

 

 

What have you done that you feel has the most meaning for you?
When I was watching the unveiling of the NICU project I was involved with, I was really excited about how much meaning it offers and how this project will continue to inspire people who are struggling with a infant who is fighting to survive. 

 

 

What do you do to keep from feeling overwhelmed?
I certainly can feel that way sometimes.  But I try not to get upset about feeling overwhelmed, being overwhelmed means I am outside me comfort zone, that I am learning and stretching. When I do feel overwhelmed I really try to stay as calm as possible under stress, and laughing always helps.  We laugh a lot in our studios and I think the day we stop laughing, it stops being fun.  I also have GREAT mentors, all outside the photography industry and I find there is usually someone I can call who can help me sort through a problem.  Finally I try to accept it as part of the journey of being a business owner and constantly learning!

 

 

What three products or things help you stay organized?

1. Things (conveniently named)
2. I use the voice recorder in my iphone when I think of something while I am in the car (only at red lights, I did sign the Oprah no phone zone pledge!)
3. ical – both of my store managers have my calendar on their computers so anyone can see what I’m doing at any time and when and where to expect me next

 

What is something that you think women in the industry should not do?
Allow negativity and drama to enter into their day.  I have a zero drama tolerance in my companies – and with 10 women the potential is there!  At Laura Novak Photography and Little Nest Portraits, If you are struggling in your job, we will get you training and support. If you are frustrated with another employee – we expect you to talk to that person directly in a honest and productive way.  If you are having a personal situation, take the time you need and come back when you are ready.  But there is no gossip, no whining, no negative attitudes allowed.  We just can’t afford to have it part of our culture. 

I also think that women, more than men, tend to try to be best friends with their employees.  They think “if they like me, then they will do what I ask.”  In my company it’s more important to me to be respected than to be liked.  If I can be both, that is a bonus.  I’m close friends with several of my employees but mutual respect is the foundation of the friendship.

**For a more indepth look at how to be a great manager see Laura's interview here with Totally Rad.**

 

What is something that you think women in the industry should do?
They should follow their intuition, rather than over-think something and thus over-ride their gut feeling.  I have learned to trust my intuition over the years, because every time I don’t I end up regretting it.  At this point, if something doesn’t feel right I won’t even consider it.  A woman’s intuition is a gift.

What five suggestions do you have for women who are trying to have a more whole, content, and blissful life?

1. always make your family and your personal life your highest priority.  It helps you to have an identity outside of work, which to me is the key to balance.
2. taking care of your health and your body will allow you to live in the moment and find your truest intention in your day
3. your fear of regret should always be more important than your fear of failure
4. surround yourself only with the kind of people who lift you higher
5. life is a journey.  Learn from the mistakes, celebrate the adventures and be grateful for every step along the way.

To see more of Laura's work:

Website

Blog

Strategy Avenue

Living the Dream Workshop

 

**All images in this post are copyright Laura  Novak.***

it can't be the first day of school already.

Every year the 1st day of school is difficult for me.  It's filled with all of the reminders of the things we did all summer and the things I wished that we had been able to fit into the too short summer days and the months that felt like they had wings and moments that happened before I even realized.  Seconds that played out and that I hoped to capture but that seemed to fly away before my hands could reach out and cup them careful to place gently into a mason jar.  So many of those summer days of lemonade and swimming and drive in movies and just being now feel like the fireflies we tried to catch...chasing after t hem, reaching into the gathering dusk for their light, hoping that when we opened our hands we would have one to keep...

I have all of these sweet summer memories in my mind and I can't help but want to have them in my hands where I can live them all again.

I loved this past summer.  It was a summer filled with things I hadn't expected.  My kids all grew up more in the last 3 months than they have in any previous summer.  Everyone one of them gained inches.  Emmett is now taller than me...that seemed to happen almost overnight.  Emma and Miriam both grew so much that now when I put my arms around them they I realize that they are less my little tiny girls and more grown up. Grace has gone through 2 shoe sizes and lost 2 teeth and gained 2 inches.  How does this all happen so fast?

I also didn't expect that this would be my first summer that I would have days where I looked to the first day of school and hoped it would come quickly...

Mostly, though I have loved summer.  I love the days of swimming at the pool, everyone hanging around the house engrossed in a great book, hearing my girls play endlessly together, laughing from another room in the house, happy kids running in and out of doors, girls making lemonade for a lemonade stand, boys making every color waffles for all of the neighborhood kids, doing sprints in the mornings with Miriam and Emmett, whispering voices coming from beneath blanket laden kitchen table forts, princesses being chased around the house by older brothers with light sabers, watching kids ride off down the road on their bikes together, walking to the school, playing at parks, exploring trails, paddling boats, eating ice cream, laughing under starry skies on our back deck, planning our 4th of July party, being silly with Grammy and Grandpa, picking very small and very few tomatoes from our garden, making salsa, taking meals to people with the cousins, creating cardboard villages, painting masterpieces, feeding giraffes and rhinos, playing games, enjoying a fun staycation, eating more ice cream, and just hanging out and being together.

What I didn't expect was that my kids' personalities would become stronger than ever.  They've always, each of them, had strong personalities and I've raised them to be independent and speak their minds.  I'm grateful for that...most days.  Some days though, especially lately, I'd like at least one of them to please just back down from a disagreement, stop pushing each other's buttons, refrain from poking their brother, or maybe just try not to talk for 2 minutes...those were the times that I would look at the calendar and wonder when school was starting.  Because at this moment...it wasn't soon enough.

A few years ago my sister said to me, "How do you stand the fighting?  I just can't stand the fighting..."

I said to her, "My kids don't really fight."

She said, "Really?!"

I was surprised to hear that my sister's kids fought enough to make her crazy.  They are good kids and my sister is a great mom.  (I was leaving in an alternate reality, I'm convinced.  I'm not saying that my kids didn't fight...I'm saying they didn't fight enough to make me crazy.)  I said, "Really. They have occasional moments...but it's not too bad."

She's a few years ahead of me.  Her oldest is 2 years older than my oldest.

Let's just say...

I now know what she was talking about....

There's something that clicks as kids get older.  Even though my kids have definitely known that they have a voice in our home...it's been recently that they've realized more and more that their voice means something.  They want to bring it out more often and stretch it and exercise it and get a good look at what it can do.  They like to experiment and see what kind of effect their voice and actions can have on other people. It's part of learning...even if it makes me crazy.  I'm glad about the learning, the stretching, the trying things out.  It's a good thing...except when I can't take it any more. 

So I watch as our family changes and evolves and our summers become shorter and shorter and personalities and voices are tested and there are days when school starts looking appealing...

Today, I sit here wishing that this new school year would melt away and wait to arrive on my doorstep until another day.  Today, I want to put a book on my kids' heads and hope it keeps them from becoming another year older.

I want that.

And I don't.

Watching my children change and become these amazing, outspoken, thoughtful, sensitive, kind, crazy, funny, soulful, aware, smart, wonderful human beings is also thrilling.

Seeing them try on being older and more grown up just to check the size like it's a pair of pants that is a size too big makes me smile a very, "I'm so proud of you even if it makes me crazy" kind of smile.

And when they occasionally leave those one-size-too-big pants discarded on the ground, I smile because I get to hug them just a little more and hold them just a little longer.  I know it's only for a second and they're going to try on being older and grown up again too soon.

And that's what makes every 1st day of school difficult.

It means that all of my kids are going to bust out their "I'm older and more grown up" clothes.  There's less and less looking back as I drop them off at school.  There's less sad faces when I leave and more excitement about what's ahead.

And that's the way it should be.  It's the way I want it to be for my sweet kids.  I want them to seize new opportunities with gusto and excitement.

And from outside their classroom doors I watch them and I listen to the voices behind doors as I walk down the long school corridors...

and I smile a very "I'm proud of you even if it makes me miss you" kind of smile...

school. LIFE.