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Posted on Tuesday, January 6, 2009 at 08:35PM by Registered CommenterDavina in | Comments13 Comments

make time.


As most of you know I've been on a kind of crusade of sorts to get my life back after becoming overwhelmed and overworked as I tried to get a business going...then get it to grow up.

In the meantime it seemed like I'd missed my kids growing up.  They're not that old but missing just a  little bit ends up feeling like I've missed a lifetime.  In truth, to get a business started and then growing there are certain things you have to give up.  Opportunity costs.  Whether you do it knowingly or not it still happens.  You give something up when you decide to pursue something else.

When you finally realize that there were opportunity costs that you didn't count on...there are regrets.  Some of them small.  Some of them big.  Even though you've loved what you've been doing you realize you've missed some things.

I gave up a lot of time with my family and when I realized what I was doing I took a step back.  I cut back.  I reorganized.  I charged a little more.  I spent less.  I became more focused.  I worked less.  I played more.  I changed.

 As this year comes to a close and new one opens up before me, I'm looking back at a year I've really loved in so many ways.  I'm also looking forward to a yeat that will be different and wonderful and exciting.

As you can see from my blog, I've cut back on the amount of shooting.  I've gotten to teach more (which I love), I've had the time for some fabulous friendships, I've spent more time with my little family, we've moved across the country, I've had parties, been apart of Thirst Relief, been blessed to meet and been changed by Saylor and Becky, had a great time working with wonderful clients and been part of their lives...they're more like friends, to me.  It's been a really incredible year.  A year with no regrets.  A year of meaning.  A year of fun.  A year of growth.  A year of change.  A year of adventure.

 This year was a year of no regrets because I made time.  I opened up my life to my own moments.  For the past couple of years I've worked at balance, at loving life, and this year has shown me the fruits of those labors.

In an industry like photography things change every second.  A new camera, a new look, a new this, a new that...it's easy to be swept up in the current and be carried away on it.

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've had fewer clients lately.  That's been a conscious decision and one that will continue into the coming year.  I'm being extremely selective about the work and commissions that I take.  I want the clients that I work with, the friends that I have, and my family to know that I'm invested in them. 

To me, that means making time.

My youngest goes to kindergarten in the fall...and here in South Carolina that means a full day of kindergarten.  I wasn't ready for that news.  I thought that I'd have another year and 1/2 with her and now it feels like I'm losing 1/2 a year...so I want to make time for her.  I've also wanted to make sure that I'm here for my kids in South Carolina before I throw myself back into business.  I want them to feel safe and confident. 

I'm so excited about this year!  I'll still be doing what I've been doing...it will just be limited and selective.  You can still register for Day with Davina, keep up with Move it Monday, stay tuned for more new products, and everything else here on the blog.

I want to hear what you're going to do to make more space in your life. 

(And once you've created some space in your busy schedule...what are you going to do with it?  Sit and enjoy the silence?  Sky dive? Visit a friend?)

 In case you're not sure...here are some ideas for the coming year. 


Ways you can add meaning and fun back into your overworked life:


*Stop watching TV at night.

*Journal at least once a week.  (You know I couldn't resist that one!)

*Commit to no computer time for a specified time each day.

*Go on a date at least once a week with your spouse.

*Have a weekly family game night.

*Invite your neighbors over for dessert once a month.

*Pray as a family before leaving the house in the morning.

*Take each of your kids on a special date once a month.

*Plan a quarterly night out with your girlfriends.

*Be home everyday (and off of your computer) before your kids and/or spouse gets home.  Greet them with an "I'm glad you're home", a smile, and a hug.  (This may seem corny but you'd be surprised at what a big difference this little thing makes to the rest of your evening.)

*Sit and listen to how your loved ones' day went when they arrive home.

*Eat dinner as a family (or with close friends) a few nights a week.

*Sit on the couch with the windows open and just listen to the rain...or go out and play in it.

*Drop by a friend's house for coffee or hot chocolate or something.  (James Dobson talks about how we've lost our sense of community...no one just drops by anyone's house for tea, or cookies, and then sits and chats away the afternoon talking about "nothing and everything".  We're all too busy for real life and the living, breathing person next to us.)

*Laugh about all of the silly things that have happened this year.  Just sit around and tell the stories to each other.

*Make time for the people in your life.  Stop networking and start thinking about having meaningful relationships.

 *Sit around the table with friends and talk until late at night.


What do you think?


love. LIFE.

Reader Comments (13)

Oh Davina! You nailed me!! I just want to know how you did it! Everything you are describing is where I am and where I want to be. I have so many questions. I have been praying for a mentor to help me. Your blog came just at the right time. ( 3:30 am editing pictures)
Thank you for being such an inspiration. I hope to come have a day with you soon!
Mary Anne

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary Anne Morgan

Girl you always nail it on the head with your words!!!!! Everything you wrote....that was my new years resolution. To stay off the computer & spend more time with my kiddos & husband. For this reason I will only be taking weddings & seniors this year with VERY LIMITED dates for families/kids/newborns. It is just sucking the life out of me & I completely feel I'm missing my boys grow up! MOM IS ALWAYS ON THE COMPUTER they say. It makes me feel sad. Thanks for your words! You totally ROCK!!!!!!!!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOakstream Photography

Oh Davina....those are some great ideas for making more space! These two really brought tears to my eyes...since I'm always editing up to the very last minute at the end of the day & don't always make the "transition" well...

*Be home everyday (and off of your computer) before your kids and/or spouse gets home. Greet them with an "I'm glad you're home", a smile, and a hug. (This may seem corny but you'd be surprised at what a big difference this little thing makes to the rest of your evening.)

*Sit and listen to how your loved ones' day went when they arrive home.

THANK YOU for the inspiration!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeaton Photography

Davina.. you always have the best ideas and advice.. what a blessed person you are to have that amazing talent and such a gorgeous family. :)

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaley

I am so happy I found you!! I love your work and blog!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

How lucky am I to work for Davina! As a new mom just starting out I am learning SO much from Davina about how to approach being with my baby and loving every minute of my new family. I am focussing this year on loving myself and taking care of myself(after watching Oprah). I think part of that is making time for things that matter and letting go of things that I thought mattered, but don't. One thing my husband and I have started doing is playing cards at night. It eliminates all the talk about work, grocery shopping, gossiping about family members and all other lame mundain things. Instead it allows us to chat, tease, and have fun for a half hour before we drag our tired selves to bed. It has brought some fresh, fun energy in to our relationship!
Davina by loving your life, you help me realize how much I love mine and how blessed I really am!
I just love ya, thank you so much!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

wow I definitely need to take you up on that advice. Great blog post

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentererica

Davina, I appreciate all you do for my son and my sweet grandchildren. They are very blessed because of you. I am very proud of you and all you are accomplishing in your career....but am even more proud of your commitment to your family and your lives together.
I can't wait to come and visit....
Reading to the kids is a wonderful experience. I did not make as much time for that as I should have with my kids....they read so well, they were off on their own. I realize now how much I missed. Thank you for sharing your feelings and ideas. I think it is great that you can touch so many lives!
I love you. Mom/Betsy

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBetsy Fear

Fantastic words Davina!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah W

Thanks for reading to our kids. I only wish I was home every evening to hear the stories myself! Thanks for all you do for our family. I love you!

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike

What an inspiring post and a blessing to have been able to spend time with you this past year. I will treasure that time, forever!

Of the gifts that losing my vision gave me - it forced me to simplify my life and treasure and value what matters. It is something that I must continue to remind myself. In my work, it is easy to get buried with others crisis and not take time for myself and family but I know that I can't give to others without that commitment.

Thanks again for your inspiring post.

January 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbecky & cricket

Inspiring is the right word. You rock my world with you insight and power. I love you!

January 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Thank you so much for your post. All that you said is so true. God bless.

October 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

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