my husband gets 15 minutes. every night.  no matter what.

(So, no.  I can't count.  Obviously.  This really is tip #12.  Yes, I know that the last LOVE. LIFE. tip. was #15 but like I said.  I can't count.  That's why I'm an artist and not a scientist...and why I have a bookkeeper.)

Every time I say "My husband gets 15 minutes.  Every night.  No matter what."  when I'm talking to a room of women they all break into a roar of laughter.  Because I really don't mean it the way it sounds.  I really mean it much more innocently.  But hey,  I'm all for giving husbands any kind of 15 minutes every night!

What I'm trying to say is to spend 15 minutes of time together but...doing a couple of things other than what you're thinking. 

First, I love reading the scriptures together and second, I don't like having money meetings together.  The thing is both of them go way too long when we do them and so I get to the point where I try to avoid the mention of reading scripture or talking about money. 

The reading scriptures part is fun but we always get to talking and before we know if we've spent the whole night reading and chatting and it's been wonderful.  We have great talks and my husband has these awesome insights but I don't want to do it again tomorrow night because...well...I'll get nothing else done.  I know.  Blasphemous.

The money meetings I really don't like.  They go way too long and I always end up thinking there's never enough money to go around...or something terribly pessimistic like that.  I get distracted.  Lose focus.  And it's all downhill from there.  Talk about numbers and my mind immediately takes a vacation.

The thing is, I know that both of these things are extremely important in my life.  I love the inspiration I get when I take time to connect with my husband and we chat about the day about things like...how we can be more in tune with the heavens and have more wisdom  as parents.  I need that and I think our marriage needs that. 

Talking about money is really vital to keeping a marriage on firm footing.  If you can't talk about money you're going to end up with problems.  So, I know we need to keep tabs on the budget, where the money's going, who needs new clothes, how we managed to spend THAT MUCH money on food this month, how much the orthodontist is going to be, and who will we be buying glasses for next?

So.  I made a plan.  Every night we spend 15 minutes talking about each of these things.  Yes.  15 minutes.  I even have this cute timer for it.  If the 15 minute timer dings and we're not done I'll set it for 5 more minutes and that means we need to wrap it up.  And I'm strict about it, too.  I don't want our whole night gone because that will just make me not want to do it tomorrow night.  (that sounds terrible, doesn't it?) 

To wrap things up when we talk about money we make notes in our little money book. We write what we talked about and what we're going to talk about tomorrow night so we don't just end up rehashing instead of moving forward.  That way when we sit down tomorrow night we can pick up right where we left off.  This short time also keeps me from going into a downward spiral about our financial future.  My husband's always saying, "Our financial future has never looked brighter.  It's awesome!  We have so much going for us."  And he's totally right!  But for me, if talking about money goes longer than about 20 minutes I'm done for in terms of a bright outlook.  I don't know what it is!  I'm silly that way, sometimes.

And we really do love doing our 15 minute sessions.  They've been great...even if the picture at the top looks like we're really in a serious conversation.  We do have fun and laugh a lot.  And that's always a good thing!!

So if you find yourself avoiding some of the things you enjoy because they just end up taking too long to do them consistently then get yourself a timer and break it down.  You'll be glad you did and you won't feel so overwhelmed.  Have fun.  Be creative.

And if the other kind of time with your husband (wink. wink.) feels the same way...get a timer.  You never know maybe you'll love it every night, too!!  (Did I just say that?)

love. LIFE.