wow.

Natalie, Becky's daughter wrote me an email about her mom.  She told me that she was legally blind but didn't let it stop her from living a very full and beautiful life.  When I went to meet Becky I walked into a marriage and family therapy office and met a woman and hesitantly asked if she was Becky.  She had walked right up to me and shook my hand.  I was thinking, "Am I in the right place?  Is this the right lady?"

Over the next hour or so Becky showed me some goggles that she had made to help children be able to see what she sees in her everyday life.  The picture above is how she sees the world.  She has absolutely no peripheral vision to the side of her or above and below her.  She sees only through a little peep hole.  Because her vision is so completely limited she hits her head on things a lot, she's fallen down stairs and tripped over more things than she can count, she can't drive, and she walks every where. 

Becky has a sweet guide dog named Cricket...they go everywhere together.  Cricket, even though she is a young guide dog, is still so protective of Becky.  She keeps Becky from falling into holes and being hit by cars.  As long as Cricket is on her harness she knows she's at work.  She doesn't rush to be pet or ever run off from Becky.  What's amazing is that she is still a puppy.  The moment Cricket is let off of her harness she turns into a wild and crazy puppy.  She runs and chases other dogs, adores getting loved, and races around the yard like a maniac....you wouldn't know it's even in her to be wild when she's at work with her harness on.  She loves to work and to help Becky and you can tell that the relationship between them is a special one. 

The thing that I love about Becky is the way she smiles all of the time.  She laughs and she laughs at herself.  Her perspective on her life is a beautiful thing and I love the time I got to spend with her.  She sees the blessing in every experience.  She uses her own life challenges to bless the lives of others.  Listening to her talk about her job was so inspirational; she had me convinced that I would love to go back to school and get my counseling degree.  The way she talked about the experiences she's had in her profession with clients who are grieving with personal loss of loved ones, of their  deterioriating health, of fighting cancer and the hope and understanding that she gets to give, was touching.

We sat and talked about her life and the process of her losing her vision over her teenage years and into her early twenties, the day she couldn't drive anymore, and the way she looks forward to every spring....and wonders if this will be the last time she will see the flowers that she plants in her garden.

Over her lifetime her vision has gradually faded and at some point she will wake up and not be able to see anything.

As much as this is not something that she is looking forward to, she went for a time completely blindfolded to face that inevitable fear, to stare that tiger in the face and not back down.  After that experience she decided that she would be able to handle her biggest fear. 

Becky's husband went to great lengths in their new home to make sure that she wouldn't be hurt walking around her own house.  He had custom flooring put into each room so that she would be able to tell by her feet what room she was in, he had all of the corners of the walls rounded so that she wouldn't walk into them with her face, he raised the cupboards so that if they were left open she wouldn't walk into them.  I love the dynamic between the Becky and her husband...the friendship, mutual admiration, concern, and love...

Becky hasn't let anything stop her.  While most people with failing or failed vision essentially give up on living a full life, Becky has embraced it.  She is an entrepreneur with her own marriage and family therapy practice, she tandem bikes with her sweet husband in marathons across the country, she gardens, she's raised two children (and managed that without driving a car), and so much more. 

Becky's disease is called Retinitis Pigmentosa.  To learn more about Becky and how you can help fight blindness go to the following websites:  www.fightblindness.org  ; www.blindness.org  ; www.wardelfamily.blogspot.com  and to keep up with Cricket:  www.cruisinwithcricket.blogspot.com 

Both times I got to be with Becky were a gift to be able to see her life and the way she smiles and laughs and makes the best of every aspect of her life.

true. LIFE.

a gift.

It is a gift for me to get to spend time with Saylor and Audrey.  Every time I get to see them and hear about the amazing, blessed, strong, and difficult but happy life they've led I'm inspired.  Everything that happens for them is a miracle...and often on a daily basis they see miracles and see life for the first time again. 

We had planned to go up to Snowbird and get pictures of Saylor in her skiing lessons (she loves the snow)...but Snowbird classes were cancelled.  Plus when I got to the foot of the mountain they wouldn't let my mom mini van up with out chains or four wheel drive.  That's when Audrey and I decided to go for the unplanned for plan 'B'.  I met them at Saylor's school hoping that we'd get to do a shoot of Saylor at school only to find out we had to make sure that the other parents were okay with their children being photographed (totally understandable and we're hoping that it will work out in the future...).  I've been wanting to photograph Saylor at home...so we headed home.  I loved the downtime of being with Saylor and Audrey and hearing about the stories of the life of their family. (I can't wait to meet them all.)

Saylor showed me her room and all of the ways it's been customized for her in ways none of us would consider.  I talked with Audrey about the rare amount of couples who are given the news that the baby growing inside the hopeful mom will have challenges similar to Saylor's.  To those couples, the doctors recommend talking with Audrey and meeting Saylor.  They discuss the hardships and challenges as well as the joys and triumphs of bringing their child into the world.  It's not an easy life for anyone.  There are so many emotions wrapped up in the surgeries, healing, hope for change, travelling to doctors, remaining close as a family and as a couple, the daily frustrations of mundane tasks, and the joy of great news, hope on the horizon, and science catching up with the miracle of the body.  So often, the couples that Audrey and Saylor talk to decide not to bring the baby to full term; making the difficult decision of opting out of the challenges and joys ahead of them.  When Saylor picked up the Newsweek magazine, right when we were talking about the trips that Saylor and Audrey make, it moved me.  The journey of her little life, the surgeries before she was ever born, and the steps forward and backward since those early days that life hung in the balance before she breathed her own breath...all of them sped through my mind to the moment now as she sat in front of me.

I love the sweet relationship between Audrey and Saylor.  They remind me of slowing my life down, of appreciating life on the simplest and most real level, and of being moved by the miracle of life and the warmth of the person sitting next to me.

miracle. LIFE.

This is her life.

Saylor is an amazing little girl.  Her mom is Supermom...I'm pretty sure if I would have asked her to reveal her alter ego she would have shown me the giant 'S' and the cape hidden under her regular mom look. 

I first learned about Saylor when she sent in her essay for the Father's Day contest.  Over the months I've thought about her on a number of occassions and knew that I wanted to meet her.  I finally contacted her mom, Audrey, and we started talking about documenting a day in Saylor's life...which will actually be over the next year.  After working out the details we decided to meet at Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake.  Saylor was born with spina bifida and has been in and out of hospitals since her life began.  We went to her orthopedic surgeon who removed the casts (her eleventh set) she had on from her fifth surgery in her short 4 year old life; then drove to Shriners' to have her fitted for new braces for her legs. 

Through out the entire process Saylor was so brave.  Even when she was afraid she faced what was before her.  In so many ways she seems so much older than a sweet little four year old.  I was reminded of her still tender innocence and awareness when they went to the gift shop to get the balloon that she looks forward to during every trip to the hospital.

As much as I loved seeing the power and understanding of such a little girl, it was the sweet giving, sacrifice, and effort that Audrey goes to for her children that also touched my heart.  As a mom she took my breath away as I Iistened to the health issues that each of her children have had, the endless trips to the hospital, the late nights, the early mornings, the heart stopping realities, and the happiness at little and big successes.

I realized that I wasn't documenting one person's story.  I am documenting two.

real. LIFE.